I have read a lot of things about children and so I don't know really where I got the idea that they are egocentric beings who need to learn that the world they live in does not actually revolve around them; that all of the times they get upset are really rooted in this delusion that the world is supposed to be working for them.

Well now, three months into revolving my world around one of these egocentric beings, I disagree that he is egocentric.  He lives in the present and only in the present.  If in the present he is hungry, then in the present he needs to be fed.  When he is comfortable his present is filled with cooing and the start of his giggle, lots and lots of drooling and smiles from both of us.  Honestly, the time when his present is totally comfortable and all needs are met is usually pretty fleeting; though it does last long enough for me to wonder what the heck to do with him next- that is usually the sign that it is going to end soon if it isn't already over.  I think my baby's "present" varies from about thirty seconds to two minutes based on observations of the cycles when he cries where he can calm himself down a bit and then starts up again.  Also, he understands that I am coming to meet his needs in a short time frame if I hold up two fingers at him- a sign that means "two minutes" to me but usually only gets about 40 seconds of calm baby and doesn't work more than two or three times in a row.

My totally awesome therapist that I worked with for the three years after my dad died always held living in the present as an ideal way of life.  Touch the past, hope for the future, but live in the present.  My baby seems to be giving the ultimate demonstration of living in the present since he has no solid memories of the past and no concept of the future to muddle things for him.  Following him, letting his schedule and his needs dictate what I do forces me to live so much more in the present then I have ever been able to before- some days it is easier for me to do than others.  Some days his present allows me to get work done around the house, or prepare a meal with two free hands.  Other days he needs to be in arms or his present is not a happy place.  The days that are harder are the ones where I am trying to live outside of my present.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...