weaning a 4 year old

So E has weaned?
I think.
Time has yet to tell, but as of this morning he acknowledged that he was done nursing.

We have been talking about it for awhile with him, almost daily since before his fourth birthday. I am about to start taking medicine for my narcolepsy again, so my milk is going to become not-drinkable. My husband has been vocal about E weaning for probably a half a year. I would cringe when he would flat out say to E that he didn't need to nurse and he should just stop already. But E could always turn around and nurse, so I think it was just something he heard and rejected. It was not his reality.

It was a surprise that E has nursed so long. We wanted him to make the choice to stop for a lot of reasons. Our expectations for how long it would last were mainly based on my husband's childhood. The story we have heard from Marc's mother was that when Marc was 3.5 years old, he and his mom had a rational and logic filled discussion about how he did not need to nurse anymore. And at 3.5 years he agreed to stop. My husband is the only person I know that has a story like that. So we thought we could remake history. We thought that E loved to nurse so much that he should be allowed the opportunity to follow in his dad's footsteps.

But at 3.5 years E was not ready to wean. He understood what it meant and wanted nothing to do with it. We did the don't offer, don't refuse thing since before he turned 2. We did a don't offer, feel free to refuse thing since I was pregnant with L.

And then this morning, like many mornings, E wanted to nurse and I wanted to sleep. And I told him he had to wait. Sometimes he waits, sometimes he leaves to eat breakfast. This morning he waited and asked again. And I said the same thing I have been saying lately:
"What will you do when you can't nurse anymore? because soon you won't be able to drink my milk."
And as usual he said nothing except that he wanted to nurse. So, I said:
"What if this is the last time you ever nurse?"
And he said OK. So I repeated mt statement, but saying it more explicitly because I was surprised by his response. And he agreed again.
So I let him nurse. And while he nursed I made up a song about how he was having his last nurse because he was "fear oars" (that is how he says "four years"-his age... because he says it the danish way with the english s). And he is big and strong (adjectives he uses to describe himself regularly) and ready to become a cuddler instead of a nurser...
And when I stopped singing, E asked me to sing it again. Which I, of course, did. And during the second rendition he broke his latch and said he was done. And we left the bed together and went down to L and Marc and I made a big deal about how E was done nursing. And E also said he was done.

So time will tell. But now that I have confirmation from E that he has had his last nurse AND a song to sing as a reminder if he asks to nurse again. I think I am now going to not offer and refuse (nicely).

L has to be weaned too, but he should be a lot easier. Mostly because he is much less interested in nursing and also because he is not old enough to flat out refuse to be weaned.

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